Drinks, Drugs, and Daddy Issues
by idekwthimdoin
Summary: All Sam wants is for John to be proud of him but Sam is giving up that impossible dream, and when he makes a friend at a new school, he falls into a world of drinks, drugs, and daddy issues. WARNINGS INSIDE. T for safety.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N This is gonna be my first multi-chapter story, and i hope u like it :)**

 **WARNING! CONTAINS:**

 **Drinks**

 **Drugs**

 **Daddy Issues**

 **mentions of homophobia**

 **slight OOCness? for john?**

 **John bashing, but it gets better at the end**

 **...**

Sam was tired. He'd been working extra hard for the past few months, following his father's orders. It wasn't easy, having to bite his tongue to keep from saying something that would upset his father. All he wanted was for his father to recognize him as his son and be _proud_ of him. But all he'd been rewarded with was more disappointed looks and extra training every time he messed up.

They were on a werewolf hunt and Sam was doing his best to keep up, in order to please his father. Dean was following John's every move, obeying orders like the perfect soldier. Sam envied his brother's graceful moves, like a tiger stalking its prey. Sam was more like a clumsy kitten, stumbling after his family with his awkward limbs that he hadn't yet learned to control.

John never hesitated to praise Dean, and as much as Sam loved his brother, he envied him. It was always _Dean, Dean, Dean._ Their father only ever noticed Sam's mistakes.

They heard a twig snap and they all turned towards the sound. They waited in tense silence for something to come charging out of the bushes. Sure enough, something did.

For Sam, it all happened in slow motion. The werewolf lunged for Dean, who raised his gun, ready to unload two silver bullets into its chest. But Sam was faster, and in a desperate attempt to get his father's attention, he knocked Dean away and raised his own gun. He pulled the trigger just as the monster fell on him, lifeless.

For a few moments, nobody moved. It took Sam a while to realize that the monster wasn't clawing at him and that he was still breathing. He shoved the heavy body off him with a grunt and smiled proudly at his dad. His smile disappeared immediately when he saw that John was livid. He yanked Sam up by the arm to get him to stand.

"What the hell Sam? Are you stupid? Dean had a perfect shot! You could've gotten yourself killed, and messed up the whole hunt. How could you be so reckless?" John yelled, raising his hand when Dean tried to intervene.

"S-sorry. I just wanted-I jus-" Sam struggled to apologize, his father's words stinging like hell.

"Do you even think before doing anything? Why can't you be more like Dean? Dean wouldn't have done something so idiotic, Dean wouldn't h-"

"I'M TRYING OKAY?" Sam's outburst silenced John's tirade. Sam took a deep breath to calm down, to gain some semblance of control before he spoke again. "I'm trying Dad, I really am. But I'm not Dean, dad. I'm _Sam_. I can't hunt as well as him and I'm sorry. But I'm _trying_ my best and I killed the thing. Isn't that good enough for you? Am _I_ not good enough for you?"

Sam was breathless, and he looked at between his brother and father desperately, silently begging them to understand. Finally, John turned and started walking back to the Impala.

"Try harder." Was all John said.

The ride home was quiet. Sam stared out the window, lump in his throat and tears in his eyes. He refused to let them fall. He wasn't going to cry over this.

"You alright?" Dean asked, eyes roving over Sam, scanning for injuries. Sam nodded. He sighed as Dean lifted a hand from the wheel only to bury it in Sam's hair. The gesture comforted Sam, and he let some of the tension in his body escape. Dean tightened his hold on Sam's hair slightly, enough to make Sam turn to him.

"Dad's right y'know. What you did, it was pretty fucking reckless " Dean said in a stern voice. Sam clenched his fists, but nodded silently.

"Don't do that ever again." Dean's concern for Sam would normally make him feel better knowing that somebody cared about him, but tonight it just made him feel worse. Deep down, he knew his father was right, and that he was the most useless among the three Winchesters. Dean was the perfect one, and Sam would _never_ be like Dean.

Sam hid himself in the bathroom as soon as they arrived at the motel. He took a long and cold shower and brushed his teeth before finally going to bed. He pulled the blanket over his head and tried to sleep, listening to the sounds of Dean and their father shuffling around.

"Pack your bags in the morning, we're leaving at noon." John instructed just as he was about to leave for his own room.

"Hey Dad?" Dean's low voice stopped John in the doorway. "Do you think, maybe, you could cut Sam some slack? He really is trying his best."

"Dean, he's the weakest out of all three of us. He has to keep up. Going easy on him won't help him."

Sam forced himself to stop listening, covering his ears under the blanket. He had no idea how much time passed when he felt Dean rub his back through the blanket. He waited until he's brother fell asleep before he let go.

Sam sobbed silently into his pillow, soaking it with snot and tears. He cried until he used up all of his tears, and was left feeling empty and numb. His thoughts kept him up, not letting him sleep.

Why does he even try? If Dad doesn't accept him even when he tried his best to be the perfect soldier, then why bother? Maybe they'd be better off if he never existed. Sam was just a dead weight anyway.

 _That's it. I'm done trying._

Sam fell into an uneasy sleep, plagued with nightmares of John and his brother abandoning him for good.

 **A/N so there's the first chapter! if you liked it, please stick around for the next few chapters :D**

 **AND PLEASE REVIEW AND FAVE! it would mean a lot**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N woo! new chapter up, it's where Sam makes a new friend! I don't own any of the characters, except for my OC (Jared).**

 **Anyhoo, hope u guys enjoy this one :)**

In the next town, somewhere in Minnesota, John had told them they'd be staying for at least a month and that Sam had to be enrolled in school. Sam was excited since he hadn't been in school for at least two weeks. Dean hadn't been in school in two years, dropping out in favor of hunting. When he wasn't hunting, he worked odd jobs to provide some extra cash.

It wasn't a big school, probably only having 200 students. It didn't matter to Sam; he didn't bother trying to make friends anymore. He was used to sitting alone during lunch. So it came as a surprise when someone sat beside him at the table he was sitting at, surrounded by textbooks.

"I'm Jared." A boy held out his hand, which Sam hesitantly shook. He recognized the guy from French period. He didn't allow himself to hope for a friend just yet, only to have it crushed later on. Sam waited for him to speak again, just in case the guy only needed something from him.

"You got a name?" Jared tilted his head, studying Sam. He was a tall, lanky boy, with pale skin and clear blue eyes. He was knobby kneed, his shoelaces were untied and his hoodie was practically swallowing him, but he carried himself with an air of confidence and mischief, which reminded Sam of Dean.

"Sam." Sam flashed the guy a polite smile. "Did you need something?" Sam asked, which caused Jared to chuckle.

"I should be asking you that." Jared whispered mysteriously, smirking at him. Sam stared at him in confusion until he noticed that he was gesturing towards something poking out his hoodie. Sam took a closer look, and his eyes widened when he saw the small baggie of weed nestled in his hoodie.

"I don't, uh, I don't do that." Sam tried to gather his books and get away from Jared, but he was stopped when a hand wrapped around his wrist.

"I know you don't. It's pretty obvious, no offense." Jared nodded towards the books Sam was holding. "You're a nerd. By the looks of it, you need some extra cash too." He said, looking Sam up and down "Selling this stuff could earn you some bucks." Despite what Jared was asking Sam to do, he smiled kindly at Sam. "You don't have to, but if you're interested, come find me."

"How do you know I won't just tell on you?"

"Something tells me you're not that kind of guy." Jared said slyly, placing a butterfly knife on the table. _Sam's_ butterfly knife, the one Dean gave him on his 14th birthday. The one that was _always_ in his back pocket.

"How-"

"Pickpocketing. Comes in handy from time to time." They stared each other down, Sam weighing his options.

"My dad would kill me if he found out." Sam said finally.

"You care about what he thinks?" Jared raises an eyebrow. The question makes Sam pause.

"Not anymore." Sam says, remembering John's words from before.

" _Weakest out of all three of us."_

Sam thought about Jared's offer all throughout the rest of his classes, and on the way back home. Sam was taking the shortcut through the park as usual, passing by the usually deserted playground. However this time, there were three people, though it didn't seem to be a friendly gathering.

"Fuck you, fag."

"Yeah you'd like that, wouldn't you?"

Sam recognized Jared's voice. He hid behind a tree to watch the scene before him. Jared was backed up against another tree by two of bigger boys. As Sam took a closer look, he recognized them as students from his school, stereotypical bullies. Sam had been careful to avoid them.

Sam winced as one of the bullies seized Jared by the neck, Jared struggled against his hold, but as confident as he was, he was still a scrawny boy, and his struggles didn't affect the bully.

Bully #2 was laughing, slapping his friend on the back as they held Jared captive.

"You think you're so smart, wait till you get a taste of this." Bully #1 said, holding up his fist.

"Fisting? Really? Man you're kinky. I'm not really into that, sorry." Jared retorted. He laughed at the offended look on the bullies' faces until it was interrupted by a swift blow to his stomach. The bullies let go of him, and he fell to the ground, wheezing.

"Not so smug now, are you?" Bully #2 taunted, delivering three consecutive kicks to Jared's side. Before Sam knew what he was doing, he slipped out of his hiding spot and called out to them.

"Hey douchebags. Go pick on someone your own size." Sam said, walking towards them coolly. While Sam might have been skinnier and shorter than them, the bullies didn't have the kind of training Sam had. Sam could take them on easily. The comforting weight of the butterfly knife in Sam's back pocket added to Sam's confidence.

"Aww, you come to defend your boyfriend? That's cute." Bully #1 said, before he took threw a punch at Sam's side, hard enough to bruise. Sam recovered easily, coming up with an uppercut to the guy's chin, and following through with a strong punch to his jaw. Not giving his opponent time to react, he jerked his head forward, hitting Bully #1's nose perfectly with a sickening crunch, knocking him out effectively. He fell to the ground, limp.

"Your turn." Sam turned towards Bully #2, who tackled Sam to the ground. He tried to choke Sam, but with a quick maneuver, Sam was on top of him, his knees pinning the bully's arms the ground, rendering him immobile.

"Leave him alone, or else." Sam threatened, pressing his knife to the bully's throat. He wasn't planning on doing anything besides scare the boy.

"Or else what?" The bully whimpered.

"You really want to find out?" Sam said, channeling his inner Dean. "Get out of here. Now." He stood, letting the bully scamper away, taking his friend with him. Sam turned towards Jared, who was watching him with unbridled awe and curiosity. Sam helped him up from the ground.

"You good?" He asked Jared, who nodded.

"Man, you were like a friggin' ninja! And that was one badass knife." Jared exclaimed, referring to the butterfly that was safely in Sam's back pocket once again.

"Thanks. What's their beef with you?" Sam asked. Jared laughed, wincing as the action jarred his sides.

"Some people here aren't very tolerant of the _neighborhood fag."_ Jared said, his voice turning bitter at the end.

"Oh."

He wasn't gay, but Sam knew the feeling of being treated like a freak, both at school and at home. He watched as Jared slowly made his way over to the swings, and sat in one of them. He nodded over to the other swing, inviting Sam to sit with him.

Sam might have cared about the time at some other point in his life, but he'd stopped trying to get his father to be proud of him. He didn't care that the sun was setting and that it would be dark soon. He'd always be a disappointment in John's eyes anyway. He didn't hesitate to sit with Jared, swinging slightly.

"Have you thought about my offer?" Jared asked.

"Yeah."

"And?"

"I'm in." Sam smirked at Jared, who smiled back.

"It's pretty dangerous though. We could run into some creeps a lot worse than Twiddle-Dick and Twiddle-Dumbass." Jared warned. Sam raised an eyebrow at that.

"I'm pretty sure I can handle that." Sam reassured him.

"Alright then, I'm just giving you some sort of disclaimer, just in case you try to sue me or something." Jared said, which made Sam laugh. "I make my deliveries this Saturday. Meet me here at around 1 a.m.?" It was early as hell, meaning he would have to sneak out, but that just made Sam more excited.

They sat in peaceful silence for a while, before Jared spoke again.

"I don't think we're that different, you and me." He whispered, and Sam eyed him skeptically.

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, no offense, but we're freaks." Jared says, and Sam ducks his head. Sam knew that fact all too well. "Judging from your second-hand clothes, you don't have a lot of money either. You probably move around a lot too."

Jared's deductions were creepily accurate, which unnerved Sam.

"That doesn't prove anything." Sam objects.

"Well how 'bout this one: Daddy issues." Jared offers, and Sam is stumped.

"Is it that obvious?" To anybody else, Sam would never admit to having _daddy issues._ But somehow, Jared was different. He _understood_.

"Takes one to know one." Jared confesses, giving Sam a bashful smile. "My dad's one of the most homophobic people you'll ever meet. He _despises_ people like me, and doesn't hesitate to remind me everyday."

"I'm not good enough for my dad, but I don't actually blame him." Sam chuckles bitterly. Jared waits for Sam to elaborate. Sam doesn't, and Jared doesn't pry.

They sit there for a while, with Jared telling jokes and stories while Sam was content with just listening. The familiar rumble of the Impala caused him to swear and get off the swing.

"That would be my brother. You'll be okay here by yourself?" Sam asked, reluctant to leave his new friend alone.

"I'll be fine, I live just down the street. You go ahead."

Sam waited for the Impala to pull up in front of him. He got in, and waved at Jared through the window as they drove away. Sam turned towards Dean, who was white-knuckling the car's wheel.

"Hey Dean," A sharp look from Dean shut Sam up completely.

"Do you know what time it is?" Dean said, his tone clipped and icy. Sam looked out the window only to see the dark night sky. A quick glance at his watch told him that he was dead. He had lost track of time, and he didn't notice it had gotten dark. Sam swore softly.

"Has Dad noticed?" Sam asked. Part of him hoped that John hadn't noticed he was late; he wasn't in the mood to get yelled at. But another part of him wanted his dad to notice he was gone, to be worried him somehow.

"I don't know. We'll find out once we get back to the apartment." Dean said, and Sam mentally prepared for the yelling that was sure to come.

"I thought you were more responsible than this. I'm pretty disappointed in you." Dean told Sam as they reached the apartment they were renting.

"Who isn't?" Sam muttered, wasting no time in exiting the car. Dean didn't seem to hear him, walking behind Sam as they entered their temporary home. Their father was at the dinner table, scribbling away at his journal.

"Is that dinner?" Their father asked, eyeing the paper bag Sam didn't notice Dean was holding. It was partly soaked with grease, and it reeked of onions and cheese, which made Sam wrinkle his nose. He proceeded around father caution until it became apparent that he didn't notice Sam's absence.

Sam wasn't hurt. Not one bit.

Dinner passed without any arguments or fighting, which was a rare occurrence these days. Sam finished his homework before showering and getting ready for bed.

As he came out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist, Dean leapt up from his bed and rushed over to Sam.

"What the hell is that?" He brushed his fingers gently on the bruise on Sam's side, which made Sam wince. He'd forgotten about that. It wasn't too bad. Sam had had worse before.

"Just some idiots." Sam answered vaguely.

" _Idiots?_ There was more than one?" Dean hissed, and Sam smiled inwardly. At least he knew Dean still cared about him. These days it seemed like he was the only one.

"You should see the other dudes. I think I broke one guy's nose."

"That's my boy." Dean ruffled Sam's hair, a proud gleam in his eyes.

Sam ducked his head shyly, blushing from the praise. He felt a twinge of guilt when he remembered the plans he made with Jared. As he thought about their father sitting in the living room, he decided he didn't care.

 **A/N That's it for the second chapter.**

 **Please fave and review!**

 **constructive criticism is VERY welcome:)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N this one is a little short, but i hope u guys don't mind :)**

Sam tried not to act too nervous come Saturday evening. He had gone over his plan meticulously, smoothing out all the details in his head. He would wait until his family had fallen asleep, and at exactly 12:45 a.m., he would sneak out. He would take the 5-minute walk to the park, and wait for Jared there.

At 12:15, Dean still hadn't gone to bed, which made Sam twitch anxiously.

"Something wrong, Samantha?" Dean teased, though concern showed through his eyes.

"Nothing, shut up, jerk" Sam retorted. He was nervous. He wasn't used to doing things behind Dean's back, but he tamped down the guilt. There was no backing out.

"Whatever, bitch."

By 12:30 Dean was out cold, and Sam let out a breath of relief. He slipped silently out of bed, and got dressed as quietly as he could, putting all the hunter training into good use. He didn't risk putting on his shoes however, only doing so when he was safely outside.

Jared was already waiting for him as soon as he arrived. He beamed when he saw Sam, rushing towards him.

"Glad you made it. I wasn't sure if you were going to change your mind. You ready?" Jared asked excitedly. Sam nodded, the thrill of breaking the rules coursed through him, and he couldn't help but smile.

"Okay, since this is your first time, I'll come with you, and I'll show you the ropes."

"Lead the way." Sam followed Jared as they crossed over to the "bad part of town". Sam watched as Jared approached a man casually, as if he was familiar with him. He wondered how long Jared had been doing this.

"Don! What's up? I have _the goods_." Jared exclaimed in hushed whispers.

"I'm good." The man, Don, said politely. " _Very good."_ He crooned as Jared handed over small package, but it was filled with a white powder, instead of the green herbs that Sam was expecting.

Sam's mind raced as he started to realize what exactly he had gotten himself into, but instead of the fear and dread he expected to feel, he felt only excitement. His heart pounded and suddenly all his reluctance to take this job disappeared. _He wanted this_.

Don lifted the bag to his nose and sniffed, sighing reverently. He reached into his pocket and produced a wad of bills and handed it over to Jared.

"See? It's not that hard. You give them their order, they'll give you the payment, and then we're on to the next customer." Jared explained as they moved on from Don. They made a few more deliveries before they found themselves at a 24-hour diner, counting their earnings.

"500, 1000 bucks. Hmm, not bad." Jared mused as he flipped through the bills. "600 for me, 400 for you, that sound good?" It was a pretty good deal, considering Sam didn't do much other than follow Jared around and listen to his instructions.

Jared handed over Sam's share, which Sam tucked in the waistband of his underwear.

"What are you gonna do with the money?" Jared asked.

"Well, my brother's birthday is coming up, might get him something cool." Sam replied. He still wasn't sure what he would get for Dean, he wanted it to be special. Or maybe he'd save it for when Dad didn't return when he said he would and money ran low.

"How about you? What do you do with the money?"

"I'm stashing it all under the floorboard. I'm leaving this town someday, I'm gonna go to college, and try to do something with my life. I _hate_ it here." Sam was silent, Jared's dreams mirroring his own secret desires.

"Good luck, man." Sam said sincerely. He checked his watch and saw that it was time to head home before his family woke up.

"I gotta go, see you in school."

He arrived at their apartment at a little over 2:00 a.m. Both his father and brother were still fast asleep. Sam stuffed the cash into the bottom of his duffle, and changed back to his sleeping clothes, careful to remove all evidence that he ever left. He crawled back into his bed and fell asleep faster than he ever had in the past few weeks, reveling in the feeling of rebellion against his father.

He knew what he was doing was no less dangerous than hunting monsters, but at least it was different. It wasn't normal or safe, but it was the closest he could get to being a normal teenager and he _just didn't care_. If he got hurt, well, maybe it would finally get his father's attention.

In the morning John was gone, off on another hunt in the next town. He didn't say goodbye.

 **A/N Please fav/review/leave constructive criticism :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N i hope u guys like this chappie**

Sam tried not to act too nervous come Saturday evening. He had gone over his plan meticulously, smoothing out all the details in his head. He would wait until his family had fallen asleep, and at exactly 12:45 a.m., he would sneak out. He would take the 5-minute walk to the park, and wait for Jared there.

At 12:15, Dean still hadn't gone to bed, which made Sam twitch anxiously.

"Something wrong, Samantha?" Dean teased, though concern showed through his eyes. Sam loved how Dean knew him so well, but it meant it was almost impossible to hide anything from him. It made this whole situation so much harder.

"Nothing, shut up, jerk" Sam retorted, trying to hide the fact tat he was nervous. He wasn't used to doing things behind Dean's back, but he tamped down the guilt. There was no backing out. He didn't avoid eye-contact or act too jumpy, albeit with great difficulty.

Dean bought it.

"Whatever, bitch."

The apartment felt stuffier and more confining than usual, and Sam wasn't sure how much more pressure he could take. But he soldiered on, not willing to give up on his plans.

By 12:30 Dean was out cold, and Sam let out a breath of relief. He slipped silently out of bed, and got dressed as quietly as he could, putting all the hunter training into good use. He didn't risk putting on his shoes however, only doing so when he was safely outside.

Jared was already waiting for him as soon as he arrived. He beamed when he saw Sam, patting him on the back.

"Glad you made it. I wasn't sure if you were going to change your mind. You ready?" Jared asked. Sam nodded, the thrill of breaking the rules coursed through him, and he couldn't help but smile.

"Okay, since this is your first time, I'll talk you through this, show you the ropes."

"Lead the way." Sam followed Jared as they crossed over to the "bad part of town". Sam watched as Jared approached a man casually, as if he was familiar with him. He wondered how long Jared had been doing this.

"Don! What's up? I have _the goods_." Jared exclaimed in hushed whispers.

"I'm good." The man, Don, said politely. " _Very good."_ He crooned as Jared handed over small package, but it was filled with a white powder, instead of the green herbs that Sam was expecting.

Sam's mind raced as he started to realize what exactly he had gotten himself into, but instead of the fear and dread he expected to feel, he felt only excitement. His heart pounded and suddenly all his reluctance to take this job disappeared. _He wanted this_.

Don lifted the bag to his nose and sniffed, sighing reverently. He reached into his pocket and produced a wad of bills and handed it over to Jared.

"See? It's not that hard. You give them their order, they'll give you the payment, and then we're on to the next customer." Jared explained as they moved on from Don. They made a few more deliveries before they found themselves at a 24-hour diner, counting their earnings.

"500, 1000 bucks. Hmm, not bad." Jared mused as he flipped through the bills. "600 for me, 400 for you, that sound good?" It was a pretty good deal, considering Sam didn't do much other than follow Jared around and listen to his instructions.

Jared handed over Sam's share, which Sam tucked in the waistband of his underwear.

"What are you gonna do with the money?" Jared asked.

"Well, my brother's birthday is coming up, might get him something cool." Sam replied. He still wasn't sure what he would get for Dean, he wanted it to be special. Or maybe he'd save it for when Dad didn't return when he said he would and money ran low.

"How about you? What do you do with the money?"

"I'm stashing it all under the floorboard. I'm leaving this town someday, I'm gonna go to college, and try to do something with my life. I _hate_ it here." Sam was silent, Jared's dreams mirroring his own secret desires.

"Good luck, man." Sam said sincerely. He checked his watch and saw that it was time to head home before his family woke up.

"Gotta go. See you in school."

He arrived at their apartment at a little over 2:00 a.m. Both his father and brother were still fast asleep. Sam stuffed the cash into the bottom of his duffle, and changed back to his sleeping clothes, careful to remove all evidence that he ever left. He crawled back into his bed and fell asleep faster than he ever had in the past few weeks, reveling in the feeling of rebellion against his father.

He knew what he was doing was no less dangerous than hunting monsters, but it was different. It wasn't normal or safe, but it was the closest he could get to being a normal teenager and he _just didn't care_. If he got hurt, well, maybe it would finally get his father's attention.

In the morning John was gone, off on another hunt in the next town.

…

At school, he and Jared had gotten close. They sat together during breaks, and hung out after school. They told each other their secrets, even ones Sam had never said out loud to anyone, ever.

"I want to go to college too, someday." Sam says one day while they are both hiding under the bleachers after school let out early.

"Then go to college. You're a genius man, what's stopping you?"

"My dad wants me to join the family business. I don't think he'd let me leave." Sam sighs. He tried to talk to John about it once, and he was met by a rejection that he expected anyway.

"Then run away. Hell, we could run away together."

Sam was taken aback by the invitation. He couldn't help considering the option, even just for a moment. He'd earn the money he needed by selling drugs. They moved around a lot, it would be easy to escape the authorities. He chased the thoughts away as quickly as they came. The thought of being without Dean made his chest tighten. He couldn't leave Dean, not like that.

It's not like he wouldn't be found. Dean and his father were hunters. That meant they were amazing trackers. He wouldn't be able to get away for long.

"It's not that easy." Sam said.

"I guess in some ways, I'm luckier than you. I don't have any family besides my dad, and I would ditch him in a heartbeat."

They were silent, basking in the afternoon warmth.

"When are you leaving?" Jared asked suddenly.

"In two weeks, probably." At least that's what Dean told him the morning after their dad left. But knowing John, he could either be days early or weeks late.

"Oh."

"You sound disappointed." Sam observed.

"It's just…I was hoping you'd stay longer."

"Why?" Sam was genuinely puzzled. Sure, he and Jared were friends, but Jared had other friends, though there were few in numbers.

"I've got a crush on you, dumbass. Why do you think I offered you anything?" Jared confessed. Despite his nonchalant tone, Sam could see the reddish tint in his cheeks.

Sam wasn't attracted to Jared in any way, except maybe in a platonic one, but he couldn't help feeling flustered and flattered at the same time. Jared was watching him with a nervous look on his face, as if waiting for rejection. Sam smiled at him to let him know he was okay with it. Jared returned the smile, and they went back to talking about normal things, a conversation without the mention of fathers, monsters or drugs.

 **A/N WEEE! should Jared and Sam end up together, or should they stay just as friends? leave your reviews and don't forget to fave:)**

 **constructive criticism would be AWESOME**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N here's a short and sweet update for y'all, to keep you guys interested while i cook up the next chapter filled with ANGST ANGST ANGST and maybe a dash of schmoop :)**

They went on another run that Saturday, earning 1200 bucks. This time Sam actually helped, splitting ways with Jared so they could cover more clients. The earnings were divided evenly this time, 600 bucks going into Sam's pocket. They finished half an hour earlier, and instead of going back to the diner as planned, Jared decided to bring Sam to the bar.

"I don't have a fake ID." Sam frowned as they approached the bar.

"It's fine. Carl, the bartender; he gets his crack from me. He'll let us in."

Sure enough, Carl didn't throw them out. A balding, middle-aged man with a beer belly, nice enough to advise them to hide out at the back, because they were very obviously minors and he did not want customers raising eyebrows, and calling the cops on them.

The first round of shots was Carl's treat. He served it to them with a wink, with Jared thanking him profusely. Sam had a higher tolerance to alcohol than Jared. It made sense; he had John Winchester as a father.

When a tipsy Jared noticed that Sam wasn't even slightly intoxicated, he ordered another round.

"Dude, this will be my last shot because my dad would kill me if I came home wasted, but _you_ have to drink. To friendship, money, and shitty fathers." Jared raised his glass and looked at Sam expectantly. John wasn't home and Sam caved. He touched the glass to Jared's and downed his shot. The whiskey burned down throat but it warmed him from the inside. Three more shots in and he began to see why Dean and his father drank it so much.

It numbed him, made him forget about his father's rejection and his dissatisfaction with his life. What he was feeling was far from happiness, but this hazy numbness was better than the disappointment and pain he had to put up with all the time.

Soon, Sam was pleasantly drunk and could no longer walk straight. He slumped against Jared as he walked Sam home.

"Man, you're cute but also heavy as hell." Jared grunted at the weight.

"S'rry" Sam slurred before giggling.

"I'm taking you back to your place. Where do you live?" Sam heard his friend ask. In the back of his head, he heard John's voice warning him to never disclose the location of their temporary home. But Sam was drunk, and people who are drunk never listened responsible voice in their heads.

"Ap'rtm'nt building, ne'r the park." It was easy enough to find, since there was only one apartment building in the town they were staying at. They both stumbled to the apartment, with Jared giggling at Sam's drunken ramblings.

"I should document this whole thing and use it as blackmail."

"Scr'w you."

"Hey man, we're here. Should I take you up to your apartment?" Jared asked Sam as they arrived at the lobby.

"Nah, I g't it fr'm h're. Th'nks b'ddy." Sam had sobered up slightly on the walk home, enough that he didn't need to use Jared as a support anymore. He gestured to Jared in some sort of drunken wave, before turning and heading up to where they were staying. He heard a quiet "Stay safe!" as he was heading up, and he absently noted how decent Jared was for a drug dealer.

He stumbled into the apartment, tripping over his own feet and crashing face-first onto the floor. The first thing he saw were a pair of shoes, and as his eyes trailed upwards, he came face to face with an enraged Dean Winchester.

 _Oh shit._

 **A/N MUAHAHAHHA CLIFFHANGER FOR Y'ALL**

 **SUFFER!**

 **don't forget to review and fav 3 :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N HEYYYY! sorry this update's a little late, but my car was involved in an accident and it messed up my schedule a little bit.**

 **BUT HERE'S A NEW CHAPTER :)) i hope u like it**

 **WARNING: Contains swearing and angst**

"H-hey Dean. You're up early." Sam said, getting up and standing as steadily as he could. The alcohol had worn off a bit, but not much.

"Where have you been?" To someone who didn't know Dean as well as Sam did, he would have sounded perfectly calm. But Sam knew Dean, and he could hear the underlying anger beneath the calm façade and Sam gulped.

Sam was _dead._

"I can explain."

"You have thirty seconds."

Sam wracked his head for a believable lie, but with the combination of alcohol, pressure, and the fact that this was _Dean_ , Sam could do nothing but shake his head and gape soundlessly.

"So I wake up to find you gone, and just as I'm about to leave to find you, you come in _drunk off your ass._ And you can't explain any of that?" Dean stalked forward as he spoke, and by the time he spat out the last syllable, his face was inches from Sam's. On any other day, Sam would have cowered away. But this time Sam looked into Dean's eyes in a gesture of defiance, refusing to back down.

"I don't have to explain myself to you." Sam's words were icy and his jaw was set.

"The hell you don't!" Dean seized Sam by the shoulders and gave him a hard shake. "You think you know everything, but guess what? I'm still older and I'm the one in charge here. So you better fucking explain yourself. Now." Dean shook Sam once more and with that, the thick wad of notes fell from Sam's pocket and onto the floor.

Sam cursed as Dean bent down to pick it up.

"Sam? Where the fuck did you get this?" Dean demanded.

"Nowhere."

" _Sam."_ Dean's voice held no room for argument. Sam was silent, debating on whether to come clean. In the end he let out a sigh, ducking his head.

"I've been selling stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Cocaine mostly. Weed too."

"Son of a bitch." Dean breathed out, all of the anger leaving him. He sat down on the edge of the ratty couch filled with holes and stained with mysterious liquids.

He scrubbed a hand down his face and held his head in his hands. Sam watched him from where he stood, unsure of what to do.

"What the hell made you think that was a good idea?" Dean asked.

"Maybe I just don't care anymore." Sam replied, his guilt and fear melting away and giving way for anger and resentment. Why did he have to be the one at fault all the time? It wasn't fair.

"What do you mean, "you don't care?" " Dean demanded, standing up once more.

"I can't do anything right anymore and frankly, I'm so fucking _tired_ Dean. I'm exhausted. Whatever I do, Dad always seems to find something wrong with it and I'm done trying. So I might as well do whatever the fuck I want, since I'm gonna be a disappointment and a fuck-up either way!" Sam was yelling and he could've woken people up but at that point he didn't care. He was angry and all the hurt that he'd been keeping to himself these past few weeks spewed out of his mouth.

"Sam you're _dealing drugs._ Do you not see how wrong that is?"

"Dean, we run credit card scams and desecrate graves on a weekly basis. Don't talk to me about _wrong."_ Sam argued.

"You're putting your life in danger-"

"I. Don't. Care _."_

"What the hell happened to you, Sammy?" Dean's voice was soft.

"Maybe it would be better if I did get hurt. It's not like Dad would care. He _hates_ me. If something bad happened to me it's just one less problem he has to deal with." Sam couldn't help it, his voice cracked at the end and he let out an agonized sob. He sank down to his knees and grabbed at his hair in attempt to rip it all out. Every cruel word his father ever said to him replayed in his head and he just wanted it all to end. He barely registered Dean wrapping his arms around him and holding him until his sobs faded.

Dean rocked him back and forth while rubbing his back, just like when they were younger.

"I've got you. It's okay, we're okay, we'll figure it out." Dean whispered the mantra in Sam's ear until he fell asleep in Dean's arms.

Sam woke up the next day in his bed with a pounding sensation in his head. He groaned, the earlier events coming back to him at a time that was _way too early._

Was Dean still angry at him? Would Dean tell Dad?

"Wake up, Sammy." He heard Dean's gentle voice say. He slowly blinked open his eyes. The light sent a spike of pain through his head and he closed it once more, groaning.

"Hangover's suck don't they?" Dean chuckled. Sam opened his eyes again, squinting at Dean. At the bedside table, there was a glass of water and a bottle of Tylenol. Sam reached over and grabbed the pills, taking one and chasing it down with a glass of water.

"Thanks." Sam muttered, refusing to meet Dean's eye.

"We have to talk."

"Do we?" Usually Sam was the one who was always more eager to talk about his feelings, but right now all he wanted to do was disappear.

"Yes, we do. Let's start with the drug-dealing." Dean said, firm but gentle.

"What's there to talk about?

"It's dangerous-"

"We're _hunters_ , Dean. Our whole life is dangerous. Anyways, you guys will be better off if I was gone." Sam interrupted. Dad didn't want him, he was useless and lazy a fuck-up.

"That's a whole lot of bullshit, y'know?"

"All Dad ever sees are my mistakes. I know I'm not like you and I mess up all the time. So I thought, "Why even bother? I might as well get drunk, sell drugs, earn cash while I'm at it. And if I get killed by some gang or rival dealer in the process, then at least you don't have to deal with me anymore." Sam closed his eyes. The sting of tears was burning the back of his eyes but he wouldn't let them fall.

Dean stared at Sam in disbelief. He could barely stomach the words his baby brother was saying. Sam was hurting. He had to fix this.

"You listen to me, and you listen good." Dean turned Sam's face towards him, looking his brother in the eye. "You are _not_ a disappointment, and we would _not_ be better off without you. You're our genius boy, and we can't bear losing you." Dean was begging his brother to understand this. "You were so badass that night, when you killed the werewolf. Stupid, but badass."

"But dad-"

"Dad's an ass. But he loves you Sam, even if he has a shitty way of showing it." Sam chuckled at this.

"He does, doesn't he?" Sam said, looking up at Dean with a small smile.

"You understand what I'm saying, don't you?" Dan asked, making sure his brother understood what he said.

"Yeah, I understand." Sam nodded.

"Good. Now let's get breakfast, bitch."

"Sure thing, jerk."

 **A/N well that's that. i'm not sure if i did well on this chapter, but i hope i did.**

 **Thanks for reading, please review and leave constructive criticism if u wanna**

 **till next time :)**


	7. Not a new chapter

**NOT AN UPDATE**

 **sorry! but i just wanted to let you guys know that the rest of the chapters will come in slower succession because i wanted to take the time to work on each chapter and give you guys good-quality work.**

 **thanks for understanding!**


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N a new chapter, finally. I hope you guys don't mind that it took so long to update :)**

 **anyways, enjoy!**

 **CONTAINS SWEARING**

Right after breakfast, Sam and Dean ignored all responsibilities and spent the rest of the day bonding with each other. They gathered junk food from the grocery and rented movies they both knew they would never return.

They heard the familiar rumble of their John's pick-up in the middle of India Jones and the Last Crusade, and Dean gave Sam a meaningful look.

"Remember what we talked about." Dean mouthed as he opened the door for their father, who stumbled in bruised and bloody, but alive.

"Woah Dad, You okay?" Dean attempted to help John but he waved him off.

"It's just a few broken ribs. Nothing I can't handle." John grumbled, obviously in a foul mood.

John sat at the table and started tending to his injuries, his back to his sons. Sam approached him hesitantly. He looked to his brother, who nodded in encouragement.

At some point throughout the day, Sam decided to give part of the money he earned to their father. It was his way of contributing to the family funds. He didn't like the idea, but it was an olive branch he was willing to extend to his father. Somewhere in his mind, insecurities and doubts were still lingering, which stopped Sam's fingers inches away from John's back. He stood frozen, not having the courage to actually do something.

What if John rejected him? Sam doubted he could handle it. The money was heavy in Sam's back pocket and the words were just at the tip of his tongue but he couldn't move. Just as he was about to retract his hand, John sensed his presence and spoke.

"What is it Sam? Can't you see I'm busy?" John snapped.

"I just-"

"If you're going to ask if we could stay in this town longer, the answer is yes. I need time to rest. We leave next Sunday. You happy?" John sneered, not even turning around to look at him. Sam was shocked and he drew his hand back.

"Yeah. Anyways, welcome back, sir. Hope you feel better soon." Sam said emotionlessly. He stormed to his room and refused to come out for the rest of the night.

"Don't be mad at him. He's tired and in a bad mood. He didn't mean-" Dean tried to reason, but Sam wasn't having any of it.

"Save it, Dean. It doesn't matter anymore." Sam cut him off. He made it clear that he wasn't in the mood to talk, and Dean soon left the room.

Monday came around and Sam had taken to meeting Jared in the park before walking to school together. Today's walk was quiet. Sam was still in a bad mood and Jared let him be until he was ready to talk. It was one of the many things Sam liked about Jared; he didn't ask too many questions. Sam was going to miss Jared when he left.

"Thanks." Sam said, breaking the silence.

"For what?"

"For not prying. I appreciate it."

"You're my friend. If you wanted to tell me something, you would." Jared said simply, as if it should've been obvious.

"My brother found out." Sam blurted out. He was afraid Jared would be upset that Sam let his, no, their secret out.

"Oh crap. You alright?" Jared turned to Sam with eyes full of concern. Man, he was really going to miss this guy.

"Yeah I'm good, don't worry."

Sam waited a while, contemplating whether he should say more.

"I'm also leaving this Sunday." He said finally. He watched Jared nervously, awaiting his reaction. He sighed disappointedly, but he didn't seem surprised, which Sam pointed out.

"You had to leave sometime. Let's just make the most out of your last week here, yeah?' Jared smiled at Sam.

"Yeah."

They didn't mention Sam's departure for the rest of the week until Saturday. They didn't deliver any drugs that day either, using the time to hang out at the instead.

"Since you're leaving tomorrow, how about you tell me your real name?" Jared asked. They were at the diner again, the same one they went to after their first run together.

"Samuel Davis." Sam said automatically. It was the name he was enrolled with, since they rarely used their real names.

"Your real name. "Davis" is way too common for a guy as special as you." Jared said, earning a shy blush from Sam.

What the hell, I'm leaving anyways.

"Winchester." He whispered.

"Like the shotgun?"

Sam nodded, surprised that Jared knew that. He was always full of surprises, and it pained Sam to know that he wouldn't be able to stick around long enough to get to know Jared better.

"That's badass." Jared commented. "I got us something, by the way."

"What is it?" Sam asked, suddenly curious. Jared only smirked before pulling something out of his bag and handing it over to Sam. It was a bottle of Jack, half-full.

"Stole this from my dad. You in?" Jared asked. Sam thought about Dean and Dad for a moment, imagining their reactions when he comes home from school intoxicated. He imagines Dad's face turning red and angry, yelling so loud the whole town would be able to hear him.

"Hell yeah." Sam said, taking a huge swig straight rom the bottle. Needless to say, John was furious when Sam returned home that night, hammered. A yelling match took place, as expected. Without Dean, the fight was downright vicious. The alcohol had lowered, if not removed, all of Sam's inhibitions, which didn't help things.

"You're a fucking disgrace, Sam!"

"I'm the disgrace?" Take a good look at yourself, John. I'm not the one who neglects his sons and leaves them alone all the time. I'm not the one who's out on the bender all the damn time!"

"Don't you talk back to me, boy. I'm still your father."

"Yeah well, you're a shitty father!"

"At least I do something for this family, and so does Dean. I don't see you doing anything other than complain about your life. You're fucking useless." John hit Sam where it hurt the most and he didn't even know it.

Sam opened his duffle and pulled out the wad of cash and threw it on the table.

"What the hell is that?"

"I earned this money while you were gone. It's supposed to be for when you're gone for longer than you say, and we're left starving. It happened all the time back when Dean was too young to get a job. We were starving, and you weren't there. You are the useless one." Sam accused, and was delighted when he saw the guilt in John's face.

"Where did you get this?" John demanded. Sam smiled. The best part was coming.

"Drug-dealing." He spat out each syllable, unapologetic and defiant. He watched as John raised a hand, and Sam braced himself for the impact, but the sound of the door opening distracted the both of them.

"Sam? Dad? What's wrong?" Dean asked, eyeing the both of them apprehensively.

"Sam's a fucking disappointment, that's what." John growled. Suddenly the room was too hot and too crowded for Sam and he needed to get out of there. He barreled through Dean and stumbled outside, not stopping when Dean called out to him. His stumble turned into a walk, and then he was running.

His feet took him the diner, and he was surprised to find Jared still sitting there.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm just so done with my dad. He's just so...so…UGH." Sam collapsed into the seat across from Jared.

"Yeah I know how you feel." Jared chuckled, and gestured for the waiter to bring them some water.

"How do you deal with it?" Sam asked.

"I don't. I just pretend he's not there, and he goes away after a while." Jared explained. Sam sighed. John wasn't the type to go away that easily. The waitress chose that moment to arrive with their water.

"Here, drink up." Jared passed him a glass of water, which Sam accepted gratefully. He sobered up considerably, enough to think straight.

"How about you? What are you still doing here?" Sam asked.

"I was supposed to make a run tonight." Jared said, before his eyes lit up. "Wanna join me? A final hurrah before you leave?" he asked, and Sam couldn't have been more grateful and excited.

"Yes, please." Sam agreed, ignoring the guilt that arose when he thought of Dean and how disappointed he'd be if he found out.

"Then let's go take a howl at that moon."

 **A/N another cliffhanger MUAHAHAHHAHAH**

 **Stay tuned to find out what happens :)**

 **Please review and fave :)**


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N im so, so sorry for the late update. I haven't been feeling inspired lately, but I'm back and feeling _very_ inspired. Please enjoy this short chapter :)**

The deliveries went smoothly at first. They savored each moment, knowing that it was their last run together. By the 7th client, they had earned more than they ever had before.

"2000 fricking dollars, Sam. How did we do this?" Jared asked, recounting the cash excitedly as they took a break behind a dumpster in a dark alley.

"Well that fifth girl did buy _a lot_ of coke." Sam answered. Jared was about to reply when they heard voices from not far away. The voices were unfamiliar to Sam, but Jared's eyes went wide and he lost all color on his face.

"Shit. Sam, get down!" Jared whispered as he pulled Sam down with him and huddled behind the dumpster, backs flat against the wall.

"Jared? What's wrong?" Jared grip on Sam's wrist was almost painful, and he looked downright terrified.

"It's Marcus and his guys. They're the real deal. They run a whole system; the big cities, different states, all that jazz.

"So this is about some stupid rivalry? But why would they be worried about you? You're just one guy." Sam whispered, confused and scared.

"Yeah, but I've pissed them off more than once. They _really_ don't like me." Jared's voice got softer as the voices got closer.

Sam raised his eyes in question.

"Where do you think I get my drug supply?"

Sam closed his eyes and sighed as he connected the dots. He was in _deep shit._ If these guys really were the real deal, they wouldn't hesitate to shoot a pair of teenagers, especially if one of them had been stealing from their supply.

They stayed as immobile as possible, avoiding detection. They let out a breath of relief as the voices passed them by. Slowly, they stood and crept in the other direction, until they were around the corner.

"That was close."

" _Too_ close. _"_ Sam hissed, not relaxing just yet. His hunter senses were tingling; something wasn't right.

"Hello, Jared." A voice caused them to turn, and Jared let out an audible whimper. A blonde man stepped out of the shadows, pointing a gun at Jared. He wasn't what Sam imagined him to look like. The man was handsome, with a chiseled jawline and sharp cheekbones. But his lips were curled up in malice and his eyes showed no kindness.

"M-Marcus." Jared stammered. Sam took a protective step forward, shielding Jared's body with his own. His hand gravitated toward the small of his back, before he realized he didn't have his gun. His mind raced to think of a back-up plan, but he came up with nothing.

"I see you've invested in a bodyguard." Marcus' gaze and aim shifts to Sam, and he feels Jared stiffen up behind him. "Don't touch him. He wasn't the one who stole from you, _I did._ Leave him alone." Jared pleads around Sam.

"How noble of you. Too bad I don't do noble." Marcus sneered. The trigger is pulled and Sam is on the ground, clutching his left leg as pain sears through it.

"You bastard." Jared growls.

"Oh don't worry, you'll get one too." Sam hears another shot fired and Jared fell to the ground next to him, sporting a wound identical to Sam's.

"I'm so, so sorry Sam." Jared gritted out, panting through the pain.

"This is what happens to little shits who steal from me." Marcus said.

"If you're going to kill us, just do it." Sam replies, not letting his fear show. He got himself into this mess, at least he can go out with dignity. He gives a reassuring smile to Jared, impossibly hoping that Jared could somehow survive this.

"And give you an easy death? No way." Marcus turns around. "Boys?" Two men approach, waiting for further orders. "Go do your thing."

The men nodded as they turned towards Jared and Sam. One of them was tall, lean, and dark haired. while the other one was stockier, with crooked teeth. The tall one crouched in front of Sam, smiling menacingly. He dug his thumb into Sam's wound, enjoying Sam's agonized cries.

"Stop! Don't hurt him!" He heard Jared's voice under the haze caused by the pain as a steel-toed boot struck his ribs, no doubt breaking them. The kicks kept coming, all over his abdomen. He refused to cry out.

"Sto-" Jared's plea was cut off with a cry. Out of the corner of his eye, Sam saw the other man with a knife in his hand, the other hand slapped over Jared's mouth.

"Shut up you thieving fag. Take it like a man." The other man hissed as he crouched over Jared and started carving into Jared's skin. His screams were muffled by the man's hand, and Sam wondered how they got themselves into this shit. If he died now, he wouldn't have the chance to see Dean, tell him how sorry he was.

Sam lost track of how long the torture continued, but he barely registered when the hits stopped coming.

"I think we've had our fun. Now let's get rid of these, before someone sees us." One of the men said. He raised his head to see a gun pointed at him. He closed his eyes and waited for the end. A shot rang out and he heard a body fall to the ground. How was that possible? He was already on the ground…

"Sam!" He turned towards Dean's voice and saw his brother and father running at him at full speed.

"Dean." Sam gasped out, before the world went black.

 **A/N so yeah, we're coming to the end of this story, about one or two more chapters left.**

 **stay tuned to find out what happens.**

 **review/fav if u liked it, and feel free to leave constructive criticism :)**


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N HI GUYS! This is the final chapter of this story, and I would like to thank all of the readers of this story, especially those who took the time to fave or leave a review on the story. You guys are amazing.**

Sam awakes to rhythmic beeping, hushed voices, and the clean smell of bleach.

 _Hospital._

Sam listens to the voices of his father, brother and someone else - a doctor maybe? He hears words like "broken ribs" and "severe contusions" and he realizes they're talking about him. He waits until the doctor leaves, before he shifts and stabs of pain lance up his side.

Sam groans, causing the voices to go silent and then brief flashbacks of the previous night's events come back to him. He feels eyes on him and he doesn't have to look to know that his family is hovering over him, is staring at him. Sam keeps his eyes shut, not ready to face his brother, and _especially_ not his father. An unpleasant mixture of guilt, shame, and residual anger at his father makes his insides churn.

"C'mon Sammy, come back to the world of the living." Dean tries to joke, but Sam can hear the worry and concern spilling into his voice. It makes Sam feel worse because _he_ put that worry there. Dean is the last person to deserve this shit. Sam had blatantly broken Dean's promise, and it was Sam's fault that they were in this situation to begin with. Tears slide down Sam's face and his eyes remain closed and _oh shit he's crying again and Dean's there and Dad too and-_

"Sam, open your eyes." It's Dad's voice this time that interrupts his self-loathing session. But what strikes him is how _not_ angry his father sounds. The only thing Sam hears in his voice is outright tenderness and then he feels his father's hand cup his cheek, using his thumb to wipe away Sam's tears.

Sam forces himself to calm down and slowly opens his eyes to stares into John's. All he sees is concern, worry and a twinge of guilt and Sam's face crumples.

"D-dad I-" Sam chokes on a sob but John understands anyway. He hears the _I'm sorry_ and the _I didn't mean it_ and the _forgive me_ and he envelopes his son in a tight but careful hug, mindful of Sam's injuries. John hates himself because Sam _shouldn't_ be the one apologizing.

"I'm so sorry Sam, I'm so fucking sorry." John whispers in his ear, over and over again.

"I'll give you two some time alone." Dean says quietly, and moves to leave but John stops him.

"Stay." John orders gently, pulling away from Sam. Sam hiccups quietly as his sobs subside, silently wondering what John was going to do next. Dean stands awkwardly beside the hospital bed, unsure of what to do. This was a side of John neither Sam nor Dean have seen before, and they were both stumped.

"I have a few things I want to say, and I'm only saying this once, so listen up." John says, and Sam shares a look with Dean, wary of what was to come.

"I guess I want to apologize for the way I've raised you boys. I know this life isn't easy, and I know I'm hard on you boys, especially you, Sam." John admits. Sam gapes at John, not quite believing what he just heard.

"I don't say this enough but I'm proud of you, son. I've been an ass lately and I'm sorry about that. But I am _proud_ of you Sam, you and Dean both."

Sam tries not to laugh at his brother's attempt to not look too flustered at his father's words.

"Where's all this coming from dad?" Dean asks, and Sam looks back at John, suddenly curious.

"I talked to that kid, Jared." It was John's turn to be embarrassed. "He told me some things…"

"Hey." A voice from the doorway caused all heads to turn, and Sam beamed, seeing none other than his friend walking with a slight limp over to him. Sam didn't miss the challenging look he gave John, who couldn't quite seem to meet his eyes. Sam was impressed. He wondered what he could've said to John that the man couldn't even make _eye contact_. Even Bobby or Pastor Jim couldn't get through to John the way he did.

"You alright?" Jared asked Sam, who nodded shyly, sitting up.

"You?" Sam asked, taking in every one of his friend's wounds, feeling sorry that he wasn't able to protect his friend. Jared caught him looking, and waved a hand dismissively.

"Don't worry about me. Plus, these scars totally make me look sexy, don't they?" Jared joked, causing Sam to roll his eyes in fond exasperation.

"We'll give you guys some space while we sign you out." John piped up, leaving the room with Dean only a step behind. Sam turned back to Jared as soon as they were gone.

"Can't believe you're leaving." Jared pouted, taking a seat on the edge of Sam's bed.

"Yeah, me too. I'm going to miss you though." Sam says, and he's not lying. He knows Jared will be the kind of friend he wouldn't forget that easily. They sit in silence, processing everything that has happened.

"What are you gonna do now?" Sam asked.

"I'm giving up the drugs, that's for sure." Jared smiles at Sam, who smiles back. "And I'm gonna focus on school, go to college, try to live a good life, I guess." Jared sighs, hope filling his voice. Sam can't help the slight envy he feels. He knows he could never do that, not while he's a hunter, but he shoves the thought away for later, focusing on his friend for now.

"You're going to be a great person, I know it." Sam says and Jared blushes. He stares at Sam for a while, as if contemplating something. Finally, he leans in and presses his lips to Sam's cheek, smirking as he pulled back.

"Uh…" Sam says eloquently, not knowing what to do.

"Thanks for everything, Winchester. I'll miss you too." Jared says before he hops off the bed and heads out of the room, passing by his brother and father on the way. Sam wonders when they returned, and how much they saw. Judging from the way Dean wore a shit-eating grin and how Dad was staring awkwardly at his boots, they'd seen enough.

"I-uh-he…uh…"

"Looks like Sammy's popular with the boys, huh?" Dean teased and Sam can't help but laugh because Dad's chuckling too and for once, everyone's smiling.

This was Sam's life.

They've gone through shit, and they always came out on top.

They were Winchesters.

They were a family.

And Sam thinks, _this isn't so bad after all._

 _FIN_

 **A/N sooo that's that! I suck t endings but i REALLY hope i did a good job, especially with John, because I find it hard to get into his head. I hope i did him justice because he's a really complicated character for me to write.**

 **A HUGE THANK YOU to all those who reviewed, I read them all, and i took your advice and I hope i did good. Your reviews really inspire me and i hope just cuz the story's over, you don't stop reviewing or fav-ing**

 **xoxo,**

 **idekwthimdoin**


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